Sunday, March 20, 2011

Unsettling

****Updates at bottom of post...

I said to my Aunt Jane on Saturday afternoon.  "We have gone through some rough times, but with Mickey's milk allergy gone, we are just really enjoying an easier season of life".

Seriously less than two hours later--Mickey's back has a patch of hives across it.  

dread.


But I calmly remind myself that he has gotten random hives before.


And then I unsettlingly remind myself that one time it wasn't so random and after a very stressful month of horrible hives and an anaphylactic reaction--a new allergy was discovered--bananas.

and then I remind myself again that its probably just random hives.  It happens.  It happens actually with frequency in my husband's family... so I really should not worry.  IN FACT-- I have had two bouts with hives this winter.. both lasting a few very itchy weeks.  So really, worrying is quite unnecessary.

In fact all of us in our immediate family have been sick this week and I have in the past drawn (possibly imaginary) some paralles that hives perhaps affect him when he is fighting sickness.

So why do I find myself recalling all the foods he ate in the last 24 hours?


My mind did not go there right away as I was "stuffing" it so much. But today, it just hit me--oh my gosh.... what if his MILK ALLERGY comes back...AGAIN!!

sinking, sinking feeling.

deep sigh.

 The original hives yesterday disappeared within an hour or two, so at first I just dismissed it.



Then four hours later, hives covered his upper back and spattered randomly over his body.  and then they came back again today....  

dread.  

Tomorrow (monday) is his pre-school field trip to a pizza place where they will tour and make and eat their own pizzas.  Mickey has been looking forward to this trip with much anticipation and he is so happy that I get to accompany his class. 

I told him that we will need to avoid milk protein in case his milk allergy came back.  He was so sad.  "What about the pizza-making tomorrow?"  I assured him we could still go and just make a cheese-less pizza.  He very sweetly said, "mom, I would rather not go if I can't put cheese on my pizza like all the other kids"

I get it.  He gets sick of being different.  This is the part of mothering I feel quite unprepared for.  I don't know the right thing to do, I don't know the right thing to say.


 Keep in mind, Mickey says that cheese is his very favorite food in the world.  and ice cream.  .. so going back to a milk protein restricted diet would be a very very very big deal.  not just for him, but for all of us.  

Trying not to go there in my mind as I am getting ahead of myself and allowing unsettling fears to encroach.  

So I will bring Mickey into our bed tonight with the Snorer and I--knowing that his body is reacting, knowing that airways can shut suddenly... knowing that God is in control and  focusing my mind to respond to that Truth.  As the fact that God is in control does not alleviate us from our protective parenting role, but rather to ask Him for wisdom and rest in His provision while carrying out our duties with attentiveness and excellence.  

I am not sure how to proceed from here.  Do I go get more testing?  Testing really has not proven anything with Mickey in the past so I am not sure how that would benefit us.  . As every allergist will say, "The only real way to know if they can tolerate a food, is if they can tolerate a food!"  So this will lead us into a few uncertain weeks.  Removing milk protein, re-introducing it slowly.. watching for reactions.  If the hives continue for weeks.. then it gets more difficult. 

I am reminding myself right now.  "you have done this before, you can do it again!"  

Lord give me strength.  I know I have had a few delightful months of relishing in  less allergy worries for Mickey--but I kind of got attached to that freedom and I am reluctant to let it go.  It just complicates so many things... like Kindergarten round-up in a few weeks....  like Kindergarten in a few months?!  

Getting ahead of myself again.  

I hesitated to even write this post, but I want to stay real to the purpose of my intent with this blog....  to be open with our struggles with having afood-allergic child.    Even if this whole hives things turns out to be nothing, it is still part of our story and a common stress in food allergic familes.  I remember a friend telling me a few years ago.  "yeah, when our child gets hives, we think..'yep, our child has hives'.  When your child has hives, you have to be very vigilant and figure out if it is food related or not."  So true.
  

Lots and lots of moms have children who have random hives, and its not a big deal.  Every mom of a food allergic child that is reading this post has a heart that is beating a little faster while reading this post as you know the fears that accompany this. For the rest of you, thank you for taking the time to empathize and understand, I really truly appreciate it and have felt immensely supported by you.  

 For when your child has hives that culminates in a life-threatening experience--it changes how you view those itchy red blotches.  

And when your child's hives culminates twice in life-altering changes due to the discovery of food allergies--hives are not so benign.  

And yet, life goes on as God gently reminds this worry-prone mom that there is devastation all over the world and that this is a trial she can "do"... with His strength.  After all, I wouldn't be who I am today if not for weathering trials and knowing God on a deeper level because of them.  

I am keeping perspective with this quote that I heard at the Hearts at Home conference, "It may not be well with my circumstances, but it is well with my soul"  ~Jennifer Rothschild-


**** update: we are back from the pizza place field trip and it went so great.  Hubby and I decided he could have a small amount of cheese on his pizza since I was right there and very near medical facilities.  All went well and the pizza place owner even baked Mickey his very own personal pizza with just a sprinkling of cheese, now here is hoping for NO HIVES!  :)*****

*****next update Five hours later.  Hives.  sigh. Was is from the pizza? Is it just a random thing?  My mind is wrestling these things that I won't know the answer to for several weeks.  My plan now...  blast his body with anthistamines around the clock for 3 days and put Mickey on dairy-free diet.   We have had to do this before to stop the cycle of hives.  Then after we are sure the hives have stopped, we will start introducing foods containing milk...very slowly and PRAY that the hives won't show up with the introduction of milk products.  I will call my allergist tomorrow and I can already hear her voice, "My, that boy will be talking at Allergy Conferences some day as his allergies just blow all the theories out of the water!"  yay.*****

Thanks for all the sweet comments and prayers you left on my FB page concerning this post.  Your support is so helpful!

*****weeks later****  Mickey is hive-free and is happily eating milk, cheese and yogurt again!  No new allergy, no returning allergy.  just random!  Thank you God!

3 comments:

T and M said...

We will be thinking of you. Sounds discouraging. I've been thinking a lot of James 1:5 lately, & hopefully that will be an encouragement for you, that you can ask God for wisdom to make the best decision ( :

Janelle said...

Tricia, I'm so sorry and don't even know what to say. I'm glad that you have come up with a plan of action now. Having a plan always helps me :) I'm praying for you!

Jane @ Sweet Basil Kitchen said...

I am sad that this has happened to sweet Mickey. Am praying that this has nothing to do with food. Keep us posted. Hugs :)