Wednesday, August 26, 2009

How Are You Doing?

This is a question that I have been getting a lot of lately. I am never quite sure how to answer. I study the person's face for a second before proceeding. If the "asker" has their head tipped to one side and is wearing a concerned look, I can safely assume that this person has gotten wind of my health issues. I really don't want to burden some poor unsuspecting person with my medical status!

So how am I? Thank you for asking:) Today marks eight weeks since my muscle twitching/spasms began. They are constant and unrelenting. I hate them, despise them. They are annoying, but that is not the seat of my hatred towards them. I despise them because they are a constant (and annoying) reminder that SOMETHING is wrong with my body, we just don't know what! That is very unsettling. It is hard not to worry and wonder. However I am very thankful that the difficulty that I was having with swallowing is doing MUCH better. Thank you God!

Many people say to me, " Oh, not knowing is the worst!" I respectfully disagree. Not knowing is FAR better than a horrible diagnosis.

I am thankful that my life is mostly back to normal and fear is not running rampant. Some fear is there and of course I am still worried, but it is manageable now. Every morning I wake up with great hope and ask God that this be the day that the spasms disappear. They came on suddenly without explanation, certainly they can leave the same way, right? Go away, weird muscle twitches, you are not welcome here!

I have a Dr. appt. in a few weeks with my regular Dr. just to follow up and see the next course of action. But if the twitches leave.... then there won't have to be a next course of action. Do you sense that I am hoping you will pray for this to happen? Oh you all are so perceptive!

I do look at life a little differently now. I take so much less for granted. I stopped myself from complaining yesterday when I was peeling splatted food off the floor (compliments of the gleeful one year old) and thanked God that I had the mobility to clean up my child's messes. When my child's cries get me out of bed, I whisper of prayer of thanksgiving that I am able to attend to my child. Trials do have a way of putting things in perspective.

In fact I have noticed that trials brings a greater compassion. So many of you have touched me with your support and love. I have found that it is often those of you who have gone through some tough trials and know first hand how crucial it is to show you care. People that I barely know have cried with me and prayed with me after reading my blog or hearing about it via someone else. Then there are others that are closer to me that seem oblivious to the hard times that we are going through. I say that not in bitterness, but in wonderment and thankfulness for the unexpected blessings that have been sent my way. It moves me...it moves me to greater compassion ands opens my eyes to the love of God that He sends through others!

Blessings to all of you!

5 comments:

Amy Cherise said...

T: I'm so so sorry that the twitching has not gone away. It breaks my heart for you. As Cole says, "Why can't we go to heaven now?"!!!
Amen to trials bring more compassion. trials keep me on my knees and i know that is where i always need to be - on my knees and thankful!
Jer 29:11
always here for you.
xoxo

Rochelle said...

What you say about trials is so true! I will be praying that the spasms stop!

Wee said...

Tricia, You have such an awesome perspective! Through this, you are reaching so many I'm sure, me for one! As I look back on the trials in my life, they built faith (sometimes over several years), increased trust, love, and complete dependence on our Father and Creator. Though not pleasant in the least to go through, they are worthwhile in the end. Blessings and prayers are being sent your way.

Kirk and Keri Plattner said...

Tricia~
We continue to pray. Thank you for sharing.

Becky @ BoysRuleMyLife said...

Just came by to see how you were doing. :) I read this post before, but didn't comment at the time. Just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you!!!