Wednesday, August 5, 2009

the follow up neurologist visit.

This is just pure boring medical stuff that most of you won't be interested in, but wanted to write about it for those of you who are. I had my follow-up dr. appt with my neurologist. It was a let down to say the least. Those of you who read my blog yesterday found me rejoicing that the EMG had not found any signs of muscle diseases.

Today I find myself, confused, relieved, thankful, nagging worries, and unsure. The doctor said that everything looked good and that I probably don't have ALS. I was looking for a full rule out. The most disconcerting thing is that he told me that the EMG was normal and there was no muscle irritation and no twitches. Well, the problem lies in that I DO have twitches and can visibly see them constantly. That did not line up with my test results. So hmm.

My mind is circling around.... does that mean that they did not test enough muscles? Why am I having twitches? There was no explanation and the doctor I think does not really believe me that I have twitches even though Nick said that he has viewed them as well.

So now what? Do I just ignore the inconsistencies and move on? Do I pursue more testing? Do I go to a different doctor in a bigger city? I feel overwhelmed. I need God's wisdom and peace. I know that with dealing with Solomon's allergies that several of the "experts" were wrong and it was my insistence to find the answers that has gotten as far as we have.

But is that really what I am to do? I am so exhausted. This has been over four weeks of turmoil.

Both my neurologist and GP have said that I need to go get a scope done to evaluate my swallowing problems that have developed over the last 2 weeks. So that is probably my next step. Don't really have the energy for that right now, so I am hoping that the acid reflux medication can resolve the swallowing issue.

Still, I am so incredibly thankful for GOOD NEWS and not a horrible diagnosis. I honestly can't fathom what that would feel like right now.

So the bottom line... its not really over yet. I still have twitching muscles. I want to be fully relieved and dancing with joy, but the unanswered questions are robbing me of that.

Still, I praise God. I thank Him for his unending mercies. Unanswered questions are far better than a bad diagnosis. I recognize that and am thankful.

Pray for full healing for me, peace of mind, and continual trust in God. And don't forget to thank God for giving good news today. And pray that we can have wisdom if we are to pursue more answers. Sorry I am so high maintenance these days, but I really appreciate your prayers!


Cheryl said...

Tricia, I am so overjoyed to hear the results came back negative!! And hearing your positive joyful spirit is such a relief! I love you!

Wee said...

It's an honor to pray for you and your family, and we'll continue to do that.

smw said...

i am so relieved that it wasn't a horrible diagnosis, but i can totally understand why you wouldn't feel like you could totally jump for joy. i will pray that you have clarity for what to do from here on out.

Courtney said...

I am sure that this is still so difficult for you, as you seek further answers. But from a medical standpoint, they always start with testing of the bad diagnoses and work their way down to the lesser ones, or even to those things like a virus or such. So you still have every reason to rejoice that God has given you freedom from your worst worry. And what you felt yesterday is what you have to force yourself to pray daily. Remind yourself that the Lord made you and that He is carrying you. He has carried you for the last month, was holding you up yesterday, and is still there today. He WILL give you wisdom for the days ahead, and He will NOT leave you. Nor will your friends out here in cyberspace. MUCH love and prayers for you.

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