Well super -claustrophobic me will be getting an MRI tomorrow. Dread. Wonderful Hubby will be coming with me and I will be somewhat sedated with xanax, but I am still uneasy. I am a medical wimp to say the least. I panic at IV's, blood draws and the most medically mundane things.. so all of this is mentally tough for me.
I am doing a little better with the anxiety, but it still can be paralyzing at times. The what-ifs can loom at me very heavily. Over the next few weeks I will be undergoing several tests and then the first week of August I will meet with my neurologist again to discuss the results. (True day of dread and worry)
I find myself in a very hard position. I want to pray so hard and cry out to God, but in doing so I open myself up to the possibilities and it is too scary. So my focus spiritually has been to just worship God and Praise Him. I am counting on my friends and family to really get down on their knees and petition about my health. I have gotten so many notes and stuff assuring me that you are.. so thank you.
Its so weird to have this all hanging over me and to continue normal life. I kinda feel like I am going through the motions. I keep wishing that I could turn back time and remember what it felt like to not be consumed by this. In the next couple of days, my sisters and their families are coming into town to celebrate my mothers's 60th birthday! I am so excited to be with all of them.
Now normally I would have posted pictures of Minnies first birthday... maybe later. She is so sweet, I just love her to pieces! She is walking all over and is still getting into toilets all the time!
So pray for me; for healing and for peace.
And please pray for my friend from high school named Sara. Her little girl named Alivia was just diagnosed with Leukemia. I think that Alivia is 6. She starts chemo tomorrow. How heartbreaking.
Sorry, I am sure that you did not come to my blog to be inundated with heaviness. But I believe in the power of prayer and God says that the prayer of a righteous person avails much! Now I don't feel very righteous at times, but I know that my righteousness is not based on my actions, but on my belief in Jesus Christ and His sacrifice for my sins. Through Him we are made righteous... and through Jesus we can lift up our prayers to our Heavenly Father!