Wednesday, May 13, 2009

If I Would Have Known Then What I Know Now!

Do you know that I wore CONTROL TOP pantyhose to my sister's wedding???? That may not sound like an unusual thing, but I was 13 and I weighed less than 80 lbs!

What was being "controlled" anyway?

If I would have known then what I know now- like what a stomach looks and feels like that needs permanent control top hose-I would have lived life much differently! Seriously, there should be a parental permission warning on panty hose. I really thought that I had a "bump" back in the day. HAAAAHHAHAA! (That is the sound of maniacal laughing)

OHHH how I wish I would have held off on bodywearing liposuction.

It was at the end of track season of my Senior year when my friend Kaci said something that I will never forget. "Girls, take good look at your body. This is the best it will ever look!" What a sobering statement!!! I remember taking that very seriously and trying to catalogue a mental picture of the body of my youth.

Lucky for me I discovered Spanx! Well, I actually give credit to my Aunt Jana who lovingly lent me hers when I was a bridesmaid a few years ago. (name changed to protect the innocent--a good niece would never publicly let on that any of her aunts have less than rock-hard abs!)

So anyway, from one woman to another I just can't keep the wonder of Spanx all to myself. It REALLY works! My good friend Shawna (name also changed to protect the innocent) actually has worn 2 at a time for double the control. So if you need to suction it in for a special occasion; or go somewhere in public for the first three years after having a baby...take heart... help is out there!!! Thank you to the women who invented such a marvelous wonder!

Meanwhile, I got interrupted while writing this blog entry due Minnie being entirely unhappy that we put her to bed a half an hour early, and on my way back to the computer accidentally ate my 3rd piece of rhubarb cake with crumb topping soaked in warm vanilla sauce!


1 comment:

Amber said...

I currently live in the knock off version - lets just say I have a kindred bond with Kate's stomach from Jon and Kate plus 8 (her BEFORE Surgery belly). These twins did a number on their momma's belly! : ) Good thing I wouldn't trade them for my pre-pregnancy belly.

The other day at church someeone sweetly told me I was looking good (usually followed with the phrase "for someone who just had twins") to which I promptly replied with something along the lines of - "The high quality of spandex holding me together thanks you." : )

You kind of make me want to go out and get the real thing though and see if there is a difference!

And by the way - I think I remember wearing control top panty hose at Alisa and Amy's weddings too - I would have been 11 and 12. Ahh the humor. Do we blame our older sisters?!?!? (hee hee)

Ok, I've rambled enough.